Monday, 25 June 2007

Week 6: My Wife Thinks I’m Pregnant



With Sunday’s excitement out of the way, it wasn’t exactly pleasant to wake up on Monday morning to discover that regardless of whether Dermot Brereton had brought last week’s cold snap in his luggage, he’d failed to take it with him when he left.



Or maybe our illustrious Premier was responsible after assorted protesters attempted to rain on his parade at Sunday’s community forum at McKenna Hall.



In any case, regardless of the prevailing weather conditions outside the Little House of Concrete (which was proving to be a very warm and comfortable hovel) I’d just finished gathering my stuff together ready to head downtown around ten-thirty Monday morning when the phone rang.

It was one of the other Volunteers rostered on for the middle session inquiring whether, the weather conditions being what they were, I thought it was worth reporting for duty....

As it turned out, the continuing flow of out-of-town visitors meant that it was definitely worth turning up, though anyone harbouring doubts on the subject would have felt that their scepticism was justified. The wind and drizzle persisted throughout the day, but that didn’t stem the flow of visitors.

If that seems strange, bear in mind that most of the people I spoke to during the week were in transit along the Bruce Highway and had called into town to see what was happening. Many others were there as a result of travel arrangements they’d made some time back and were going to be heading here regardless of the weather conditions

So, regardless of the weather, they kept on a-comin’.

Arriving on the scene to find that the footpath in front of the Grand View was open to the public, I encountered Warbo. After the predictable remarks about the presence of brass monkeys in the soprano section of the choir, the conversation turned to the blog and I pointed out that there was plenty of space available if he decided to send me the odd photograph. Which he duly did.

After that, it was a case of stand around, spot the visitors, engage them in conversation for a while. Repeat until end of shift.



From time time to time the conversation was interrupted by a brief flurry of activity on set. For most of the morning it seemed like there was something like a wrecked jeep (or some similar vehicle) in the street beside Chinatown. From time to time it would burst into flames, prompting all the other military vehicles in the area to drive ‘round in various directions. After ninety seconds or so the flames would die down as the vehicles returned to their original positions. After a short break the flames would flare again and the process repeated itself...

As twelve o’clock rolled around, Warbo headed homewards in search of warmth and my thoughts turned to the prospect of lunch.

Now, I must admit to a more than passing interest in the catering arrangements here. When the first batch of Volunteers wandered arrived on site back on Day One, the spread we found was spectacular in the extreme. One Volunteer expressed the opinion that it was a better spread than the all you can eat buffet breakfasts you find at major resorts.

Later in Week One, a visit to the same location for lunch revealed a similar generosity in the catering department, and I’m sure that I wasn’t the only one rubbing his hands at the prospect of a substantial reduction in the weekly grocery bill if access to the area continued.

So there was understandable disappointment when I learned that access to breakfast was a late scratching, although Volunteers from the morning shift were quite welcome to drop in for lunch at the end of their stint.

Then again, of course, the fact that breakfast was between five-thirty and six and the realisation that there was not going to be much action on the Volunteer front till eight-thirty or so probably had something to do with that....

So things on the catering front weren’t too bad at first, though it seemed that on days when our Resident Media Tart was rostered on for a morning session the arrival of lunch at the Volunteer headquarters was substantially delayed.

And then, once the shooting schedule switched to night time, the flow of comestibles ceased altogether.

Until last Monday....

Finding a space at the table outside the Grand View to attack the contents of the styrofoam container I noticed that the security detail down on the corner was also tucking into the rather spicy contents of a similar vessel. Then, with my lunch out of the way I wandered back to the front....

Ten minutes later I was quietly talking to a couple of attractive German backpackers when one of the other Volunteers arrived on the scene in search of our friendly Security bloke, who seemed to have quietly vanished from the immediate area.

Fearing the worst, I inquired whether there was any cause for alarm.

No, she replied. They’ve delivered another lot of lunches and I thought he might like seconds...

Promising to pass on the message when Security was re-established, I went back to the previous conversation.

Five minutes or so later, a familiar figure hove into view. I dutifully passed on the message, and was informed that he’d already had a double dose of lunch and was disinclined to front for thirds.

The words were barely out of his mouth before the lady Volunteer appeared on the scene, pointing out that there was plenty of lunch available should he feel inclined to indulge.

No thanks, was the reply. I’ve put on ten kilos since I started here and my wife thinks I’m pregnant...

Given the state of the weather, I was disinclined to walk home at the end of the shift, and waited around for a lift home which arrived at the same time as our Ace Star Spotter, who wanted to know whether we’d spotted John Jarratt who had apparently walked straight past me cunningly hidden under a pink umbrella....

I hadn’t, which tends to support the suggestion that, when it comes to star spotting, I’m barely out of the Novice category...

Wandering down to the Volunteer area in the course of the daily lap around town on Tuesday I was somewhat bemused to note the absence of the aforementioned Resident Media Tart.

I’d mentioned to him on Sunday afternoon that a new blog entry with Cristian content was imminent, and was interested to gather some feedback.

Since he had been conspicuous by his absence throughout Monday, and my arrival on the scene on Tuesday coincided with the changeover between the morning crew and the midday shift, I wondered whether Week Five’s entry had, perhaps, been the source of some embarrassment....

Not a bit of it.

I reported for duty on Wednesday around eleven to find him there, large as life and twice as dangerous, announcing a desire to combine his position atop the dizzy heights of Media Tartdom with a career as a paparazzi...

Unfortunately, some time on Tuesday afternoon the front of the Grand View came into shot, so the barriers had been moved back round the corner, which meant that there wasn’t a whole lot to look at, although the continuing stream of visitors meant that there was no shortage of people to talk to as Mickey’s big hand headed towards lunch time.

Shortly after lunch had been delivered, the flow of visitors diminished to a trickle. Lacking any other significant topic for discussion, the conversation turned to the subject of Hughesy’s blog. Various people were writing down the relevant URL when one lady stated that it wasn’t much use to her, since she didn’t have access to a computer....

Within seconds, Resident Media Tart was brandishing an eleven-page printout which he’s extracted from his display folder, excitedly pointing to a passage on Page Two.

That’s me there!!



From which we can establish that, like any good Media Tart, not only does he keep his collection of press clippings up to date, he’s only too willing, given the slightest provocation, to share them with the wider public.

Given the lack of visible action, I headed home at the earliest opportunity, grateful that I hadn’t drawn another time slot later in the week....

Prevailing weather conditions meant that the front door of the Little House of Concrete remained firmly closed on Wednesday afternoon Some time after seven o’clock, a distant popping sound attracted my attention and I ventured outside to see what was happening....

A fireworks display for Nicole’s fortieth birthday anyone?

Thinking back to the afternoon, I hoped that the couple who I’d advised to head up to the top of Flagstaff Hill had ignored the weather and ventured up there. That’s certainly where the fireworks seemed to be coming from, so I would have been interested to know what else they would have seen.

Once again, a case of being in the right place at the right time? Since I wasn’t there, I’ll never know.

Thursday dawned to what was undoubtedly the wettest, bleakest and most miserable weather we’d had for the week, and I counted my lucky stars as I contemplated the luxuries of reverse cycle air-conditioning.

Similar considerations must have been going on elsewhere, since I gather there was a ring around and Thursday’s Volunteer roster was abandoned. Not that anyone would have blamed them, except for one small technical detail.

Thursday was the Mackay Show holiday and, apparently, there were plenty of people who decided that a couple of hours in a warm vehicle was preferable to a day traipsing around a country show, even if it was going to necessitate a walk around Bowen in less-than-ideal conditions....

Many of us are familiar with the workings of Murphy’s Law...

If something can go wrong, it will. And when it does, it will go wrong at the worst possible moment...

Sums it up rather well doesn’t it? The one day that the Volunteer program is scrapped turns out to be one of the busiest for the whole six weeks.

One volunteer, however, decided that regardless of the conditions she was going to turn up....

She deserves a medal as big as a frying pan....

A short visit to the area on Friday provided further blog feedback, and an offer of further photographs to add to the gallery. They arrived on a USB chip on Saturday morning. as is usual with these things there was one minor technical detail.

There are more than five hundred of them, including shots of Wednesday night’s fireworks display. They form a substantial chunk of the various photo galleries hereabouts......